One of the Christian anon gang on Twitter challenged me to write story about the calf in the prodigal son and this is the result.

A man had two sons. The younger said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate now, instead of making me wait until you die.’ So the Father divided his property between them.

Soon after, the younger son packed all he had and set off for a distant country. There he squandered his money in wild living until it was all gone. At that time, there was a great famine and he began to starve. The only job he could find was feeding a Gentile farmer’s pigs. The boy became so hungry that he wanted to eat the pig swill.

When he finally came to his senses, he said, ‘At home, even my father’s servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will go home to my father and say, ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Take me on as a hired servant.’

And so, he got up and headed home to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him in his arms, and showered him with kisses. The son began his speech, ‘Father, I have sinned against God and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son – ”

But his father cut him off and said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe and put it on him. Put the family ring on his finger and place sandals on his feet. Get the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s celebrate and have a feast. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found.’

However, the fattened calf realised that his ‘invitation’ to the celebration was not to be as a guest, and so he quickly set off for a distant country. And though the Father looked for him every day, he never did return.

This is one of the 5 “pointless” parables contained in my latest book, More Not the Parables of Jesus which are just for fun. There are also 38 parables which are satirical twists to open our eyes to the lies we believe and the peculiarities of Western Christianity.



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