The temptation with any course is to rush in with methods and “3 step plans”.

But there’s no point trying to build something on faulty foundations.

If we do, then there will be no lasting change – it’ll just be words that ring hollow with your children.

So we are going to focus first on building firm foundations…

  • …in your heart (dealing with our inheritance)
  • …in your marriage (modelling sexuality)
  • …with your children (godly parenting).

Building firm foundations in your heart (dealing with our inheritance)

It’s hard to pass on wholeness if you’re not whole yourself.

For example, my wife first discovered my fear of spiders on our wedding night.  We booked into this beautiful hotel (Bath Lodge Castle) and when I went for a shower I discovered this huge hairy spider staring up at me.  I screamed and asked my wife to remove it.  She was unimpressed, but fortunately for me she did.

I knew when we had children that I didn’t want them to receive this fear from me, so I asked God to help me not to pass this onto them.  So I used to go out of my way to point out spiders to my first child and pick them up for her to touch (with much internal prayer happening!).  On one occasion the spider decided to climb up my arm very quickly and I said to my daughter, as calmly as I could manage, “oh where has the spider gone” and she replied nonchalantly “he’s climbing up your back daddy!” Oh the terror and gymnastics that I performed that moment!

Similarly I don’t want to pass on any messed-up-ness in how I view sexuality onto them – I want them to be whole so they don’t fall into the errors I did.

We’ve all received some inheritance from our earthly family or our church family and it’s good to reflect on this and recognise its effects on us – whether good or bad.

To help you with this will be asking some questions for you to answer personally throughout these sessions to help you reflect and then bring them into God’s grace.

I would encourage you to seek prayer from others so that God can transform you and bring beauty from ashes.  You are welcome to post thoughts and prayer requests here or on our social media streams or use the contact form on our website.

Again to ensure a safe place I ask that you respect each of our journeys and remember when responding to any comments that we are all children of the same heavenly father and are only saved by grace.  And so I will only publish such comments that adhere to these guidelines.


Where did you first hear about sex?

What feeling do you associate with that memory?


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